Non-smokers really like to paint us all with one big brush, don’t they? Like we’re a hive-mind that won’t be happy until there’s a dispensary on every corner, donut shop-adjacent.
Ok, actually that does sound pretty awesome.
Still, there are some stark differences between different types of smokers. We’re all at various stops on our own personal smoking odyssey. Some see cannabis as a lifestyle, while others use it as a means to an end.
These six basic smoking avatars encapsulate many—but not all—of the smokers we know and love. Which one are you?
1. The Wake and Bake Smoker
If your AM routine includes packing a bowl, you may be the “Wake and Bake” stoner. These folks start their smoking day early—often before they’ve even gotten out of bed.
When you smoke first thing, you can put a positive sparkle on the day, right from the get-go. Breakfast tastes better. The morning commute is less aggravating. The prospect of another Zoom meeting doesn’t feel quite so daunting.
Depending on your day, you may choose to keep a moderate high going all day long. Or you may let yourself sober up during the morning, and not get going again until after work. Either way, you have that early morning smoke sesh to look forward to, instead of hitting the snooze button.
Look for a piece with a low profile so you won’t knock it off the bedside table in the dark.
The Wake and Baker’s Arsenal
• GRAV® Coffee Mug Bubbler• GRAV® Coffee Cup
• GRAV® Classic Spoon
• GRAV® Rocker Steamroller with Silicone Skin
2. The Green Grasshopper
If you’re the Green Grasshopper, you’re brand new to the cannabis scene. You may have just moved to a legal state, or you may be canna-curious and want to see what all the fuss is about.
Whatever the reason, you’re real green. You’re Luke Skywalker before he meets up with Obi-Wan, when all he wants to do is go to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters. The potential is there. It just needs to be cultivated. So you look to more experienced smokers for a little guidance.
Since you’re just figuring out your groove, it’s best to keep your smoking apparatus simple. You don’t want to clear a huge bong and melt your lungs. (Figuratively, of course. There’s no danger of actually melting your lungs.)
Look for simple hand pipes that let you easily control your intake. If you want to get some water involved for cooling, choose something small that you can hold in one hand.
The Green Grasshopper’s Arsenal
• 12mm GRAV® Taster
• GRAV® Classic Steamroller
• GRAV® Milk Carton
• GRAV® Octo-Taster with Silicone Skin in Teal
3. The Ganja Guru
Do your friends come to you with questions about indicas and sativas? Are you the resident joint-roller at every event—and the joint-fixer when someone else’s bad roll leads to canoeing? Do you spend your free time reading up on terpene profiles and new strains?
No question—you’re a Ganja Guru. You’re the person every Green Grasshopper hopes will be around to guide them. You know the perfect grind consistency, and the right way to pack a bowl for even burning.
You may stick to flower, or you may enjoy dabs for more intensity. In either case, you’ve got impressive tolerance. If you’re not a Ganja Juru (or a High Viber), don’t try to keep up. You’ll have a bad time.
The Ganja Guru’s Arsenal
• The GRAV® Orbis Collection• The GRAV® Helix Collection
• GRAV® Extra Large Beaker
• GRAV® Large Gravitron
• GRAV® Pinball Wizard 420 Long-Sleeved Tee
4. The Wellness Warrior
Depending on where you live, cannabis may be part of your doctor-prescribed medical treatment. It has helped cancer patients control nausea and reduced the frequency of seizures for those with epilepsy, among many other uses. Even if you don’t have a medical marijuana card, many people choose to self-treat symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress, and mild pain with left-handed cigarettes.*
If you’re a Wellness Warrior, smoking is a panacea that helps you to live a more comfortable life. Cannabis is functional medicine for you, so you may not be as immersed in the culture. You’re looking for simple, easy-to-clean pieces that you can tuck into the medicine cabinet when not in use.
The Wellness Warrior’s Arsenal
• The GRAV® Wedge Bubbler• GRAV® Fill-Your-Own Glass Joint
• GRAV® Pebble Spoon
5. The High Viber
If you love to smoke but make it fashion, then you may be a High Viber. These smokers look for pipes and bongs that fit their aesthetic and make a statement.
But don’t be fooled into thinking that it’s all about form and not function. The High Viber likes pieces that fit their lewk and get them wrecked. In fact, only the Ganja Guru can keep up with this smoker’s tolerance.
If this sounds like you, you’re looking for display pieces that you can pull off the shelf for daily use. They can come in all shapes and sizes, but they’re big on style.
The High Viber’s Arsenal
• GRAV® Empress Water Pipe• GRAV® Spherical Pocket Bubbler
• GRAV® Small Wide Base Water Pipe in Smoke with Black Accents
• GRAV® Wave Bubbler in Amber
• GRAV® Satin Bomber Jacket
6. The Traveling Toker
You know that for some people, cannabis is a doorway to calm and relaxation. But not for you. You seek out the wacky tobaccy when it’s time to get up and go. Cannabis is your constant companion, coming with you on all your adventures. Hiking. Kayaking. Camping. Climbing. Road trips. Music festivals.
Even when it’s time to get shit done around the house, your trusty weed is there. It gives you the power of productivity.
You need pieces that are portable and discrete. We’re talking hand pipes you can toss in a pocket or a bag and no one will be the wiser. Or possibly, a bubbler that fits in a cupholder for those long afternoon drives...
The Traveling Toker’s Arsenal
• GRAV® Dugout• GRAV® Octo-Taster with Silicone Skin
• GRAV® Smell-Proof Pouch
• GRAV® Slush Cup
• GRAV® Slim-Fit Joggers
• The GRAV® Fill-Your-Own Glass Joint
*Not intended as medical advice. Always see a doctor to discuss treatment options.
